The Trouble with Illness …
Illness makes people feel wrong or bad a lot of the time. Understanding can help to change things and make people feel and behave better.
This is a site for thinking about and understanding how it feels when someone is ill, and how things really are. It is about exploring the trouble with illness.
I have been a counsellor for people with physical illnesses for more than 25 years, and this is a way of sharing some of what I have learnt. I am very grateful to all the clients, family and friends who have taught me so much.
If you find this site starts you thinking but you want more, a counsellor might help you look more clearly at your own situation. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy bacp can help you find one.
I’ve added a few books and papers; see the Reading list page.
I am not using ‘case material’, but I hope readers will add their own examples or comments.
Very sorry if you get adverts on this website: I’m trying to find out how to get rid of them.
Wow !!! I didnt see this picture yesturday and it is very powefull and emotive… i think any carer will want to read more and hear from other carers and the counsellor… the contrast is much easier to read
thanks so much helen!
I was a carer for my husband who had MS for 15 years. It was a very difficult time, but also we still lived life to the full and were still going away together just before he died, even though the emotional and physical work load was very hard on me.
The one thing that helped me the most through all of this was seeing a councellor for many years once a week…. I could off load everything which meant my family and frinds could still be just that, and i didnt ‘t have to burden them with the problems.
I would say to any one try counselling, if you get a good counsellor it can be a life saver literally.
Hi Julia, my husband is trying to find a counsellor for himself to help him deal with his mothers MS – she has had it since he was born. you have been recommended by the MS trust and i wanted to see if you are still practicing in London, and if you are; do you have any availability. I look forward to your reply. Thanks.
Hi Kitty! I’ve just found this, dated 2013 I see, and i wonder if I ever replied?
I too appreciate a blog dealing with this issue. I find it difficult to maintain friends my own age (mid-60s), since my condition caused me to stop working and I have to live a restricted life (not going out in the evenings, resting a lot, many medications etc). On the other hand, i have found a new way of life beginning to take shape with good people in it, a terrific palliative care consultant and now this website. Many thanks to Julia and all who have made it what it is, I also find psychotherapy very helpful in finding what is being triggered by my present condition from my past life.
I found the explanation about the paranoid schizoid position really helpful
So glad to have found this blog and the course that you are running in April. I am a counsellor registered with BACP and have a specialist interest in counselling those who have a chronic illness and chronic pain (I suffer from a chronic illness/chronic pain myself). Looking forward to reading your insights and experiences around this.
You are right, Illness makes people feel wrong or bad a lot of the time. I haven’t felt like myself for awhile although I do feel better when I write on my blog.