Author Archives: thetroublewithillness

About thetroublewithillness

I've been a counsellor for people with physical illnesses for a long time now, and learnt a lot about what it's like living with your own or someone else's illness. I want to pass some of this on.

Sadness Time

Sadness is important.  It accompanies regrets, recognition of real losses, grief. But sadness is painful; painful to experience and painful to watch in someone you love. People often try to stop feelings of sadness by avoiding ever thinking about distressing … Continue reading

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Mourning is work..

Hilary Mantel,  The Princess Myth: ‘Mourning is work. It is not simply being sad. It is naming your pain. It is witnessing the sorrow of others, drawing out the shape of loss.  It is natural and necessary and there is no … Continue reading

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Unrecognised disabilities have consequences throughout life…

How many people are living with some undiagnosed, unrecognised, neurological problem or disability which caused them difficulty at home and at school?  How many people were told they were stupid, or felt they were stupid, when they had a problem … Continue reading

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On first using a stick or a cane in public (when you have MS).

Using a stick (a cane, if you are American) outside for the first time is one of the harder transitions for someone with multiple sclerosis.  There is a long period between needing a stick and actually buying one or accepting … Continue reading

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Mild Cognitive Impairments (MCI or NCD)

I am writing a chapter about counselling people with mild cognitive impairments:  Working with people with mild neurocognitive disorders (mild NCD) or mild cognitive impairments (MCI)  for a book: Theory & Practice of psychoanalytic psychotherapy in dementia.  Eds Sandra Evans, Jane … Continue reading

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The Trouble with Illness – the book!

The Trouble with Illness: How Illness and Disability Affect Relationships  is being published by Jessica Kingsley on 21st Jun 2017. I spent the last summer writing it, discovering files which were dated 2007 in the process; at last it’s coming … Continue reading

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Tearing the hair off a doll

I’ve written about this in my book, Phantasy in Everyday Life. When Jane was two (or possibly three) years old, she found her doll with the hair torn off.  Jane was very upset and asked her mother who had done … Continue reading

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