Author Archives: thetroublewithillness

About thetroublewithillness

I've been a counsellor for people with physical illnesses for a long time now, and learnt a lot about what it's like living with your own or someone else's illness. I want to pass some of this on.

Talking about sex and illness

I gave a talk about sexuality and neuroendocrine cancer for the Neuroendocrine Cancer UK Virtual Patient Summit October 2021. It talks about what can get in the way of sexual relations when one person is physically ill.  JCSegal  How can … Continue reading

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Living with a child who is born with problems

It is hard having a child who will never have the life experiences you have had; who will never be the child you dreamt of; who will not allow you to be the mother or father you always saw yourself … Continue reading

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Working with Isabel Menzies-Lyth

This paper was written as part of a celebration of the life and work of Isabel Menzies-Lyth arranged by Susan Maciver for APPCIOS (The Association for Psychodynamic Practice and Counselling in Organisational Settingson) 6th March 2021.  Julia Segal is very … Continue reading

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Michael Rosen

Michael Rosen came to our house. He wasn’t visiting me but we met in the kitchen. My arms were full of a two year old son and I was drowning. He looked at me and asked how I was. I … Continue reading

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Children worry when a parent is ill. Children will worry about parents with long covid.

They worry about                Will they get better? Will they die? It’s my fault they are ill …. this should be a question, but a child may simply believe it without questioning. Is it the other parent’s fault? or someone … Continue reading

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Going it alone…

It can be very hard to lean on others, especially when you know they have their own problems.  Some people don’t want to be lent on, but others do. In Giri/Haji, there is a poignant moment when a dangerously drug … Continue reading

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worrying about worrying

Worrying about worrying … The coronavirus is a real cause for worry.  That is clear.  But many people find themselves worrying in a way which doesn’t seem right.  They are too worried, or worried about something which isn’t a real … Continue reading

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Coronavirus anxieties

It seems that people who are normally sensible may react very badly to the pandemic, while others seem to be far less troubled. One reason for an over-reaction can be that worries from the past are triggered by events that … Continue reading

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Covid-19 anxiety

16 March 2020There seems to be a real disconnect between people’s anxiety about health and their capacity to think or act. Perfectly intelligent people can be paralysed by panic: we know this in theory, but watching it in friends or … Continue reading

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Sadness Time

Sadness is important.  It accompanies regrets, recognition of real losses, grief. But sadness is painful; painful to experience and painful to watch in someone you love. People often try to stop feelings of sadness by avoiding ever thinking about distressing … Continue reading

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