Author Archives: thetroublewithillness

About thetroublewithillness

I've been a counsellor for people with physical illnesses for a long time now, and learnt a lot about what it's like living with your own or someone else's illness. I want to pass some of this on.

Michael Rosen

Michael Rosen came to our house. He wasn’t visiting me but we met in the kitchen. My arms were full of a two year old son and I was drowning. He looked at me and asked how I was. I … Continue reading

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Children worry when a parent is ill. Children will worry about parents with long covid.

They worry about                Will they get better? Will they die? It’s my fault they are ill …. this should be a question, but a child may simply believe it without questioning. Is it the other parent’s fault? or someone … Continue reading

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Going it alone…

It can be very hard to lean on others, especially when you know they have their own problems.  Some people don’t want to be lent on, but others do. In Giri/Haji, there is a poignant moment when a dangerously drug … Continue reading

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worrying about worrying

Worrying about worrying … The coronavirus is a real cause for worry.  That is clear.  But many people find themselves worrying in a way which doesn’t seem right.  They are too worried, or worried about something which isn’t a real … Continue reading

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Coronavirus anxieties

It seems that people who are normally sensible may react very badly to the pandemic, while others seem to be far less troubled. One reason for an over-reaction can be that worries from the past are triggered by events that … Continue reading

Posted in counselling, diagnosis, emotions related to illness, flirting with death, health, illness, professional health workers, relationships, talking about feelings | Leave a comment

Covid-19 anxiety

16 March 2020There seems to be a real disconnect between people’s anxiety about health and their capacity to think or act. Perfectly intelligent people can be paralysed by panic: we know this in theory, but watching it in friends or … Continue reading

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Sadness Time

Sadness is important.  It accompanies regrets, recognition of real losses, grief. But sadness is painful; painful to experience and painful to watch in someone you love. People often try to stop feelings of sadness by avoiding ever thinking about distressing … Continue reading

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Mourning is work..

Hilary Mantel,  The Princess Myth: ‘Mourning is work. It is not simply being sad. It is naming your pain. It is witnessing the sorrow of others, drawing out the shape of loss.  It is natural and necessary and there is no … Continue reading

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Unrecognised disabilities have consequences throughout life…

How many people are living with some undiagnosed, unrecognised, neurological problem or disability which caused them difficulty at home and at school?  How many people were told they were stupid, or felt they were stupid, when they had a problem … Continue reading

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On first using a stick or a cane in public (when you have MS).

Using a stick (a cane, if you are American) outside for the first time is one of the harder transitions for someone with multiple sclerosis.  There is a long period between needing a stick and actually buying one or accepting … Continue reading

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