Author Archives: thetroublewithillness

About thetroublewithillness

I've been a counsellor for people with physical illnesses for a long time now, and learnt a lot about what it's like living with your own or someone else's illness. I want to pass some of this on.

Going it alone…

It can be very hard to lean on others, especially when you know they have their own problems.  Some people don’t want to be lent on, but others do. In Giri/Haji, there is a poignant moment when a dangerously drug … Continue reading

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worrying about worrying

Worrying about worrying … The coronavirus is a real cause for worry.  That is clear.  But many people find themselves worrying in a way which doesn’t seem right.  They are too worried, or worried about something which isn’t a real … Continue reading

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Coronavirus anxieties

It seems that people who are normally sensible may react very badly to the pandemic, while others seem to be far less troubled. One reason for an over-reaction can be that worries from the past are triggered by events that … Continue reading

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Covid-19 anxiety

16 March 2020There seems to be a real disconnect between people’s anxiety about health and their capacity to think or act. Perfectly intelligent people can be paralysed by panic: we know this in theory, but watching it in friends or … Continue reading

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Sadness Time

Sadness is important.  It accompanies regrets, recognition of real losses, grief. But sadness is painful; painful to experience and painful to watch in someone you love. People often try to stop feelings of sadness by avoiding ever thinking about distressing … Continue reading

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Mourning is work..

Hilary Mantel,  The Princess Myth: ‘Mourning is work. It is not simply being sad. It is naming your pain. It is witnessing the sorrow of others, drawing out the shape of loss.  It is natural and necessary and there is no … Continue reading

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Unrecognised disabilities have consequences throughout life…

How many people are living with some undiagnosed, unrecognised, neurological problem or disability which caused them difficulty at home and at school?  How many people were told they were stupid, or felt they were stupid, when they had a problem … Continue reading

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On first using a stick or a cane in public (when you have MS).

Using a stick (a cane, if you are American) outside for the first time is one of the harder transitions for someone with multiple sclerosis.  There is a long period between needing a stick and actually buying one or accepting … Continue reading

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Mild Cognitive Impairments (MCI or NCD)

I am writing a chapter about counselling people with mild cognitive impairments:  Working with people with mild neurocognitive disorders (mild NCD) or mild cognitive impairments (MCI)  for a book: Theory & Practice of psychoanalytic psychotherapy in dementia.  Eds Sandra Evans, Jane … Continue reading

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The Trouble with Illness – the book!

The Trouble with Illness: How Illness and Disability Affect Relationships  is being published by Jessica Kingsley on 21st Jun 2017. I spent the last summer writing it, discovering files which were dated 2007 in the process; at last it’s coming … Continue reading

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