There may not be a treatment

This does not feel fair, or right.  There should be treatments for all conditions.

There are places to look for a different view.

    • another doctor
    • the internet
    • another patient
    • the woman next door
    • the church, the rabbi, the immam
    • a healer
    • some kind of magic or superstition
    • positive thinking or ‘mind over matter’.
    • eating healthily – though it might be a bit late now..
    • exercise
    • laughter therapy….

Suspension of disbelief might be called for.  This might mean abandoning your rationality  for a while, but it may well seem an exchange worth making.  If there is the slightest chance, it can seem wrong not to try.

Other people can be upset or angry or insulted if some particular remedy is refused.  They can interpret refusal of a treatment as a rejection of them, or of life itself.  It may look very different to them, from how it looks to you.  They may not see the cost, in terms of hopes raised and lost, or time, money, energy, effort.  For them there is no advantage to giving up trying.

There may come a point when you’ve tried too many to try any more.

    • When the effort of fighting becomes more than you can manage.
    • When you lose faith in treatments
    • When it feels as if all treatments are simply a way of maintaining a false hope.
    • When the responsibility of making choices and of taking decisions has become too much

At some point you may find a new way of living which takes account of the fact that there is no treatment.

This point can actually feel liberating.   ‘No more choices’ can feel better than too many choices.  ‘Letting it happen’ or ‘letting go’ takes away the need to keep struggling against the tide.  Handing over responsibility to someone else (such as the doctor who said there was  no treatment)  or to natural processes can feel a relief.

There may be plenty of other, perhaps contradictory, feelings involved too.

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About thetroublewithillness

I've been a counsellor for people with physical illnesses for a long time now, and learnt a lot about what it's like living with your own or someone else's illness. I want to pass some of this on.
This entry was posted in carers, counselling, emotions related to illness, grieving processes, health, illness, talking about feelings. Bookmark the permalink.

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